A couple of weeks ago, the esteemed editor of this site Paul Menchaca sent out an email asking Last Exit contributors to write stories of their “fear and loathing” in these “serious times,” with a Presidential race “that appears headed to the wire” and an economy where people “are making a dollar stretch by embracing bodega coffee.”

I would like to (politely) take issue with Paul’s contention that this race “appears headed to the wire.” I disagree. I think this election is over, even if that very thought brings with it a cognitive dissonance about the days in the very immediate future: Barack Obama, a black man, is going to be elected President of the United States. I am both firmly convinced of this and completely in denial that it is true, given that if you’ve thought about race relations in this country for more than about 10 seconds it seems like a completely ridiculous notion.

Until the Conventions, the Presidential race remained an abstraction, a farce: John McCain and Barack Obama were fighting to win an election, not actually do the job. Now that we have a clearer view of what the job will actually entail — that is, fixing our bullshit economy — I had a sudden feeling of, “Holy shit, this is going to be Obama’s job.” And any mistrust I’ve had of the American electorate — said mistrust having been built pretty steadily over the last eight years — will clash sharply with the best decision it has made since God-knows-when. How could we have been dumb enough to elect Bush twice, and smart enough to elect the best candidate AND one who is fucking black? This hurts my head more than anything: the fact that America is so smart (Obama) and so stupid (Bush) and can switch between one and the other kinda effortlessly. This is probably a product of our Awesomely-Outdated but cool-in-a-way electoral system, which makes for super-bitchin’ poll blogs like fivethirtyeight.com and episodes of Meet the Press, but gives real power to oh, about 9 percent of the country. Basically, pick 10 of your friends, and only one of them matters to the future of this country. Based on how people make decisions — I don’t like his hair, she’s so darn cute, he’s old and scary — isn’t this just the slightest bit oh I don’t know completely terrifying? It is, and yet, this is simply the way it is.

And lah di dah with your bodega coffee, Paul, you dirty aristocrat: I brew it at home. It’s even cheaper that way. Okay, I go to Starbucks sometimes too. We all deserve a treat once in awhile.

Copyright Last Exit 2008